


Finger tips puttin on a show

by Niall_Princess_Horan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asexual Niall, Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, First Time Blow Jobs, Harry is a bit mean, M/M, Mind Games, Narry - Freeform, Niall doesnt like sex, Niall-centric, Uncomfortable niall, ace niall, supportive Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-06 03:29:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niall_Princess_Horan/pseuds/Niall_Princess_Horan
Summary: Harry and niall are dating. 6 months now. It's not about sex to harry, honestly it's not, but maybe it's the lack of it...P.S. you can follow me on Twitter @meganls11But my names Riley :/





	1. Chapter 1

Niall pov

I'm awaken by someone palming my penis through my joggers. I grunt and try to roll on to my tummy to move the intruding hand. But it just continues. I'm palmed a but harder and faster before I hear the morning voice of my very beautiful boyfriend harry.

"Morning baby. You like this huh?"

I whine from discomfort but don't respond verbally. I'd have thought he could tell I don't like it as I'm not the slightest bit hard, he just doubles his efforts.

"You not in the mood for me today babe?" He says as he tugs my boxers down and slips my penis in his mouth. I whimper at the gross feeling of him bobbing his head up and down on my length. He hums slightly before pulling off.

"You could enjoy this you know? It's a blowjob, not a kick to the balls"

"I-I know-sorry-sorry- you caught me off guard" I kiss him softly and he seems to accept my apologies before taking my length in his mouth again. I focus on harry himself. The love he shows me, the way he makes me feel special and needed and wanted. I start getting hard and keep focusing on the love I feel for him rather than the gross idea he is licking my willy.

"I think, you should return the favour" he says kissing me once I have cum down his throat with a sigh of relief.

"M-my teeth are sore. Later? Maybe?" I lie  
"Course baby" he says kissing me gently.

When I've showered and come down stairs harry has made me weetbix so I don't have to chew, a cup of warm tea and got some tablets that help with braces teeth ache.

___

niall pov

"You need to tell him you're ace. He won't judge you" Louis says as we clean the floors of the cafe after another busy shift.  
"He might leave me though"  
"What's the alternative? Lie to him everytime he wants sex? He's already suspicious. He'll twig on faster than you think"

"It's the only plan I have. So yes. That's what I'm gona do"  
____

Harry pov

"I've been patient!" I argue back as liam tells me once again to 'give him time'

"He might not be ready for sex"  
"Well he sure as hell likes blowjobs. So to me he's being selfish"  
"Harry-"  
"-No liam. Everytime I think I'm getting somewhere he makes another excuse to not have to return the favour. Sure it's not about doing something for something back, but he hasn't even touched my dick yet. Never mind gotten me off."

"Talk to him then"  
"Believe me. I plan to"  
____

Harry pov

When I go to nialls house after my run niall is in bed asleep. He looks peaceful and relaxed. I don't have the heart to wake him and shout at him. I just cuddle him and fall asleep with his arse pressed against my crotch.

___

I wake up grinding a little unto nialls ass. He tenses slightly and I sigh before moving away from him.

"Don't worry. I'll sort him out"  
"Harry-"  
"-forget it niall" I half snap. I'm hard and horny and want some attention right now. And the only thing I can think to do is act like a spoilt brat until I leave for work.

___

Harry pov

Its three weeks later when niall and I finally row over the sex issue. Aka... him not giving it out but he's happy to take it.

"Really? In my bed?" Niall groans as I stroke my length whilst watching the boys on the computer screen blow each other.  
"I'm horny" I moan, thrusting into my hand.  
"But in my bed?"  
"You jealous? Wanna join me baby?"  
"N-no"  
"Course you're not. Because you've been getting off. I've been giving you orgasms. You aren't missing out on anything. Ever thought to return the favour?"

"I was gona- but me teeth-"  
"-bull shit. I don't think you've ever had any intention of blowing my back or rubbing me off. Happy to take it bit not give it" I snap, cutting him off mid sentence.

"I- I will-was gona-"  
"-when?" I laugh despite not finding any humour in this situation.  
"I'll-I'll blow you tonight?"  
"No you won't. You'll change your mind last minute or fake a headache."

"I'll do it now then" he says quietly.  
"Don't if you feel forced"  
"I don't. I want to please you. Repay you" he stutters, irish accent thicker with nerves.

"Have you done this before?"  
"Yeah. A-erm- few times- dunno how many"

I lay on my back as he sits in between my knees and stares at my half hard dick. He slowly reaches out and takes the organ in his hand, rubbing up and down loosely, so I barely feel it. I sigh and drop my head back. I can feel his hands shaking from nerves and can tell he hasn't done this before, despite telling me he had.

He sucks the tip in through pouted lips and tries to force himself down. He gets a bout a quarter of the way down before his breathing is harsh and he starts licking his tongue around. All in all. It's a joke of a blowjob. He doesn't have a clue what he's doing and it shows.

He keeps slopping around my dick with is tongue before I sigh and look down at him. I see him in tears. Hands digging his nails into the bed sheets. Face bright red from embarrassment or lack of air as he isn't breathing properly through his nose. He whimpers and I push his shoulder away from me, making him pull off.

"You haven't finished" he whispers  
"Why are you crying?" I ask, tucking him into my chest as he curls up into a ball on my lap.

"I did it wrong"  
"This was your first huh? Why lie to me baby. I could have talked you through it"

"I didn't want you to laugh at me. Thought I could do it" he whispers.  
"Darling if you weren't ready you should have said. Not lied to me about headaches and such. We can go at your pace, just be honest with me."

"Okay."

____

"What have you done to niall?"  
"Hello louis. What holiday can I interest you into today"  
"I've just gone to nialls and he's in tears"  
"Why? What's wrong" I ask, standing and ready to leave.   
"He was muttering about letting you down and you leaving him so he'll learn to please you"

"Oh. Oh. He blew me last night and was upset he couldn't do it. His first attempt. It was pretty poor but if id known it was his first, id have guided him- what? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You made niall blow you" he hisses.  
"He offered and I wouldn't call it a blowjob but yeah, he tried"

"You idiot."  
"Hey! What have I done?"  
"You made someone who is Asexual do something sexual with you."

"A-What? " I ask confused. What the hell is going on here.  
"He's gay asexual. He like boys but doesn't like anything to do with sex. Giving or receiving. He's fine with cuddles and kissing and looking but not in a sexual way."

"No. That's not true. I've blown him loads of times" I argue. Niall can't not like sex. We'v-well- I've blown him loads of times.

"Oh my god. You fucking stupid prat. Didn't you wonder why it took him ages to get hard or why he closed his eyes the whole time?"

"No. He said he liked it. He wanted it. I didn't rape him" I snarl, my voice raising and I'm greatful it's not payday so no one wants a holiday today.

"He did want it. Well, you. He loves you. He still feels the love and emotion but not the sexual attraction. With his ex, he used to close hie eyes during blowjobs, so he could feel the love from the person with out having to think about what they were doing to him."

"Oh my god"

"You need to fix this"

"How? What am I supposed to do? He didn't even have the balls to tell me. If id have known I would never have -"  
"-never have what? Gotten involved with him"

"Yeah" I answer honestly.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry pov

"He doesn't like sex?"  
"Nope" I mutter downing another shot of tequila.  
"Why didn't he tell you" liam sighs  
"He's a coward. A fucking selfish coward" I grunt, downing another tequila shot and a jagger bomb.

"Maybe he was scared" Zayn offers  
"Maybe he should grow a pair of normal sized balls and man up. He's 18 not 5"

"Are his-small ball- hah thats catchy" liam hick ups. He's only had two pints and a vodka and coke.

"Half size of mine at most" I cackle honestly, before downing my pint and signalling for a refill.

 

The rest of the night is a blur, I just remember waking up half way through the night with a head ache, my mouth like the Sahara dessert and zayns naked body tangled in with mine. I rub a finger over the dried cum in his ass and suck it off my finger before falling asleep.

____

Niall pov

I'm so nervous I've thrown up in the pot of poppies leading up to the front door. And the street corner before that. But im not thinking about the taste of vile stuck in my throat, threatening to projectile vomit across the room and smash some poor person in the face like a soggy pie. 

Nope. I'm thinking about my boyfriend, possibly ex boyfriend, who I love more than the back street boys and will physically die of Broken Hearted Syndrome if he leaves me. But then again I'll probably die of that if I have to try and tell him no to sex again. Either way, I'm dead and some poor dude is getting a load of sick in his face.

But this can go one of two ways, he listens to my needs and respects them, or he doesn't. I'm really hoping it's the first one because I have no idea what to do if it's the second. I would have to either walk away from him, my best friend of 5 years and boyfriend of nearly 8 months or just man up and have sex with him. I'm not sure which is worse. I was nearly sick thinking about both sinareos.

I stand in front of the door for 8 minutes before actually knocking. Once I do I hear a load of groaning before a shirtless liam opens the door.

"Niall! What are you doing here?"  
"I- I erm- I came to-is hazza in? Came to see- haz"  
"Sure-erm- sit in the kitchen and ill erm- go get him"

I walk through to the kitchen, kicking empty beer bottles and cans out of the way as I go.

 

"He's on his way, want a coffee?"  
"Erm- sure- tanks liam" I stumble.

He makes my coffee and we sit in the most ear shattering deathly silence I've ever had to be in. It's so awkward and quiet that I don't Dare even drink my coffee in case he hears me sip and swallow.

"Sorry. Was naked. Wouldn't want to offend you" he mutters, getting a glass of water and some paracetamol.

"Headache?" I ask quietly.  
"Yeah. Hangover. But mines an actual head ache, not what ever you faked having"  
"M sorry" I whisper looking at my hands wrapped around my cup.

"Yeah sure. What do you want?"  
"Wanted t- to talk. About this- proper like- no-no secrets- no lies- everythin out in the open"  
"Okay. Why don't you start" he says, sitting down on the cupboard I'm tucked under on the chair.

"I- i- lied to you. Bout the head aches and tooth ache. I was scared to tell you incase you left me- I'm still scared -but -but I know if I don't tell you- then- then I'll definitely loose you.

I'm- I'm gay. I promise you that. Girls and their bits are gross. So like ew. But- I don't- I don't like- erm- sex? You know you're bi?" He nods "well I'm gay Asexual. It means I don't like sex. I- I can love someone and be in love. And I like kissin and holdin hands. I- can tolerate looking- if it's like- getting changed- so it's not in a sexy way. But I don't like t- touching or -erm- being touched. But I love you hazza"

"Aren't you a virgin though? How do you know you don't like it, you haven't tried it"

"M not a virgin. Me ex, z-zayn- had the same thought and talked me in to trying it. I hated it" I whimper at the memories and a few tears fall. He stopped when I asked him to, but by then, the damage had already been done.

"Zayn malik?"  
"Y- yeah- how'd you know?"  
"He's- one of my mates"  
"Oh. He stopped when it got too much. But the damage had already been done." I say, not wanting him to think his friend is a rapist.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He doesn't sound upset or fed up, he sounds pissed off to be honest.  
"I didn't wanna loose you" I whisper, more tears splashing onto my hands.

"And how's that worked out for you? You know how selfish you are. I get that it's not a choice, like your sexuality isn't but you had the choice to tell me. How is this fair on me, you keeping me in the dark? Never mind whilst we've been together, nearly 8 months but we've been friend 5 years niall! You never thought to tell me!!" He shouts, slamming his hands on the cupboard and getting up to pace.

"I'm so so- sorry hazza- I wanted to tell you- i- I dont - didn't know h- how" I blubber. Snot falling as well as tears now. I wipe my tears and nose on my jumper and hide my face in my hands.

"How about like this 'hey harry, I think sex is vile, don't like it or wanna do it, wanna kick my arse on fifa?'"

"Would you have accepted me if I had?" I ask quietly.  
"You had more chance of me accepting you if you'd told me off your own back, with out being forced"

"So- where- where do we go from here?" I ask slowly, closing my eyes and dreading the answer.

"I want to say sex isn't a deal breaker for me, but it kinda is. I like it, like a lot-" he starts and I break down in tears. My nose flowing again, eyes puffy and sore from all the tears I've cried and my head hurting from dehydration.

"I think we should call it a day" Harry sighs  
"No. No please no- haz- you- you can sleep with other people so-so you're not missing out or- or I don't know- haz please don't do this" I beg. I actually beg. My head resting against my arm on the cupboard as I beg him not to leave me.

"And you'd let me do that? You'd be happy with me playing away from home?"

"N-No but I wouldn't stop you- or- or say an thing about it. It can be like- like an unspoken rule or somat"

"I dunno niall. Then point of dating someone is that you get intimate with them. Close to them. It's supposed to be special"

"We can do stuff then. You'll have t teach me and, let me get used to the- the touching. But we can, do the stuff you want. Jus please don't leave me" I whimper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo let me know what you think of this part!
> 
> I have a load of other fics on here (29 in total if we're being specific) so feel free to have a read. It's mostly Narry and Nouis. But there are other bromances....
> 
> So, have a look!
> 
> Or don't - but I think you should :D


	3. Chapter 3

Harry pov

I'm sat stunned at nialls suggestion. Why would he offer for us to still have sex if he doesn't like it? Why would he put himself in a situation he 'isn't comfortable with'. Unless he's lying and is just shite in bed. That makes more sense. He's a shit fuck so lied about not liking it so no one finds out.

"nah niall. We're done. Can't have you uncomfortable now can we. I don't believe you anyway. You'll probably get me arrested for rape"

"No I wouldn't. I love you harry. You said sex is a big deal for you- so- so I'm offering it to you- so I can- well- to keep you" he whispers.

"I'm not having sex with someone who doesn't want it" I snap.  
"I want you. Doesn't that count"  
"No. It doesn't" I mutter, getting another glass of water.

"Maybe, I might -enjoy it- if it's someone I love." He says softly.  
"Maybe you will. Maybe you haven't been having sex with the right people"  
"C-could be"  
"Coming up? See what we can do?" I ask nodding to the stairs.  
"Y-yes" he says following me.

___

Niall pov

As I follow harry up the stairs I've already broken my promise to louis. I promised that if harry didn't accept I don't like sex I'll walk away, and I won't do anything I'm uncomfortable with. That didn't work.

"You can kiss?"  
"You know I can. Kissed you loads of times" I mutter.

He sits me on the bed before leaning in to catch my lips with his. For a second I forget we were arguing. All I feel is harrys soft lips moving against mine. The passion and love radiating from his body into mine making me feel on top of the world. He lays me down not very gently and that's when I start to panic.

Harry lays down next to me and drops his jeans to his thighs. Then his boxers. I look away as his penis slaps against his stomache. Stiff and leaking and gross.

He takes my hand in his and slowly leads me to his penis. It's warm and stiff and wet and I can't think of any reason people would like doing this. He cups my hand around him and thrusts into my grip.

I whimper a little as more wetness leaks and touches my hand. I resist the urge to vomit in the bin next to the bed. But he's making it really hard.

"You like this?" He asks nipping my ear.  
"Strange" I grunt.  
"See how wet I am for you? You did this to me. Make me so hard for you. So hard for your body. Can't wait to cum all over you and eat your ass out. Even cum in that tight ass of your-"

That's as far as he gets before I rag my hand away and lean over the bed to throw up in the awaiting bin. I dry heave for a few minutes before a little more sick comes out.

"You didn't even finish me"  
"I said- needed to go slow- get- get used to this" I pant as I wipe my mouth.

"Fine, same time tomorrow?"  
"You know what harry, I love you I really do. But I can't do this. I can't do something I have no desire to do, something that makes me physically sick, just to please you. And it's still not good enough for you. You're still making jokes even though im trying my best. You're still laughing at me now. So I'm done." I sigh as I walk out, tears falling down my cheeks and my throat dry and croaky. I make it three streets over before collapsing in an ally way and curling up into a ball.

___

Harry pov  
\- the next day

"What louis?" I snap as I open the door he has been hammering on.

"Where's niall?"  
"I don't know. Don't care. Not my problem anymore" I smirk  
"He didn't come home yesterday" Louis whispers  
"Maybe he got laid. Oh wait- he wouldn't do anything to interest anyone anyway"

"He's a good kid. Sex is only as important as you make it"  
"Look he's not here, get lost"  
"No. I won't. You are going to help me find him"  
"Or what?" I laugh  
"Or I'll tell Anne everything you've done and said to him" he glares.

 

Fuck him and fuck my stupid mother.

"Fine" I snap grabbing my keys


	4. Chapter 4

Harry pov

We spend nearly 9 hours driving around London looking for niall. I have filled up my petrol tank 3 times and am getting pretty pissed off. Louis keeps calling him but his phones off. 

"He doesn't want to be found" I mutter pulling in to a parking spot so I can have some coffee to wake me up.

"Maybe if you'd have been nicer to him-"  
"-HE LIED TO ME-"  
"-Because he was scared to be honest with you. That says more about the type of person you are than him"

"I'm wasting my petrol"  
"You're losing your best friend. Seriously wake up and smell the coffee. You've been friends for years. Before you started dating. Even if you couldn't support your boyfriend through this, I'd have thought you would support your best friend. He's alone and scared and vulnerable and he needs you. Man the fuck up and be the friend he needs you to be"

I wouldn't normally listen to louis or anyone who spoke to me like that but he has a point.

When we were 13 there was a bunch of us down pratting about on a frozen pond. I didn't know niall then. When I fell in, he was the only one who went In after me. Promised me he'd always have my back and I return I promised to have his.

We search for another 3 hours before I see a small ball on the floor. I park the car terribly in the bay and dive out, id recognise that blond fluff anywhere.

As I get to nialls body I realise he's been beaten up. Pretty bad, he's awake, slumped against the wall cradling his wrist to his chest.

"Ni?"  
He's eyes flick to me and I see a look I've never seen in nialls eyes when hes looked at me before; fear. 

"Its okay, come on, let's get you home. Clean you up yeah?" I say as softly as I can. I pick him up like a child, his chest to my chest and my hands under his bum as his legs dangle my my sides. He lays his head on my shoulder as I walk carefully to the car. I put him laid down in the back but put his seat belt on and get in the front.

"I've never seen you move so fast" Louis comments.  
"My best friend needed me"

 

Once back home I bring niall in and get him settled in my bed while louis get the first aid kits.

"I should have taken you to hospital" I say, moving a bit of hair out of his face. Well I try, it's stuck to his forehead with blood.

"They ask questions" he mutters, rubbing his thumb over one of the bruises on his arm.  
"Here" Louis says handing me the medical kit.

I get out some alcohol cleaning wipes and some bruise cream. I take off his shirt and joggers first before wiping him with soap and a sponge gently and applying the bruise cream. It then comes to the cut on his hand and head. I clean them with alcohol wipes, niall wincing the whole time and tears rolling down his soft little cheeks. It breaks my heart seeing him cry.

Then I wonder how many times he's cried since we fell out. The thought of him crying because of me makes me want to punch myself.

 

"I'm sorry" he says as I hand him his cup of tea that louis made.  
"What for?"  
"Not telling you. Was scared and nervous and selfish, and I'm sorry"  
"You don't need to apologise. I do. I've been so wrapped up in myself I didn't see my boyfriend needed my support. I wasn't there for him. But more importantly, I wasn't there for my best friend. And that's not okay. I'm so sorry niall. I've been a dick. An awful dick. I don't expect you to forgive me, but im hoping I won't lose my best friend"

"I'd like to keep my best friend" he whispers, a couple of tears falling, I wipe them away.

"Now as a friend I need a favour"  
"Sure anything"  
"The lads who jumped me wanted me wallet as well as phone. Didn't have one so they- they cut me and I think it could be infected"

"Where? I've cleaned everywhere?" I ask, searching his body with my eyes to find the damage.

He pulls his boxers down and I see the cut. Where you would expect to see public hair, niall doesnt have any, he has the word 'slut' carved into him. I gasp and nearly break down again. He then turns onto his side and parts his legs so I can see his hole and it's inflamed with the word 'cock' written. Using his hole for the 'o' and the letters 'cck' around it.

"They- it hurt"  
"I bet it does baby. I clean gently at his backside first, he whimpers and cries the whole time. Then move on to his front where he full on cries.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry" I repeat over and over, pulling him into my arms and holding him as he breaks down..

"D you think m a slut?"  
"No darling. Never. You are amazing. And funny. And kind and oh so beautiful." I say, now brushing his hair out of the way.

"Were you comfortable with me seeing your, below bits?" I ask, not wanting to have over stepped.  
"Yeah. It wasn't as a sexual thing. that's okay, it's when it starts being sexual I don't like it"

"Okay. Okay. I need to know this. Don't want to upset me best friend"

"You don't have to stay if you don't accept me you know"

"I kinda do, it's my house. But no, I do. Because I want to. I want to support my best friend and you know why? Because when he jumped into a frozen pond to save a complete stranger, I promised to always have his back."

He doesn't say anything, just tangles his legs in with mine and cuddles into my chest. I kiss his head lightly wondering what made me mad at him in the first place. Oh yeah, sex. Or lack of. But in the words of a very wise (but don't ever tell him because his head is already big enough and we'll never hear the end of it). On the words of a wise young man - sex is only as important as you make it. And right now, I'm choosing not to make it a priority.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts!
> 
> Anyone want more chapters? I wanna do more but only if you guys want them!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was gonna leave this fic at 4 chapters. But decided I want a few more so here they are:)

Niall pov

Harry falls asleep and I'm about to follow. Snuggled under the duvet, legs wrapped together. I don't know if we're still together but im hoping if not that I still have a friend in him.

I'm about to dose off when I notice something dried into the sheet a few inches from my hand. I run my hand over it slowly trying to figure out what it is. It's a bit hard like glue but there's no color to it.

I put it to the back of my mind and let sleep take over.

____

"-be here. You need to go" I wake up to harry saying. I open my eyes to find zayn standing in a towel, wet from having been in the shower.

"Z- zayn?"  
"Oh hey niall" he says casually.  
"What are you doing here?" I ask confused  
"Left my keys, when I got home I couldn't get in so came back here for a shower."  
"What do you mean back here?"  
"Spent last night here" he says.

I look at harry and see him giving zayn the nastiest look he possibly can

"You spent the night?" I whisper, I wonder why harry didn't mention it. I mean they're obviously friends. I knew that when I told harry zayn took my virginity. Then i see zayn walk over to get a shirt for harrys draws. I see the little limp. It's the same one I had after zayn and i-

I dive out of bed and race to the bathroom. I'm barely on my knees before the vomit rises up my throat and lands in the porcelain bowl. I heave and vomit again. It comes out of my nose as well and my mouth and that's when the tears start. I hate being sick. I feel some drip down my chin and wipe it away with some toilet paper.

 

"Niall?" Harry says from the door way.  
"You slept with him" I mutter. It's not a question, I already know he did.

"Yeah I did" he says slowly as if hes not sure he should answer.  
"When?"  
"After- after you blew me"  
I laugh but there no humour to it "was it that bad"

"Yeah actually. Apparently you were rubbish and it was sloppy and -"  
"-Zayn! Shut up" Harry hisses.  
"No- please- everyone else seems to have been given the review of my blowjob skills. My turn- continue" I say flushing the toilet and gargling with mouthwash.

"Yeah- erm- sloppy and you didn't use your tounge and only took his tip. Couldn't even take half of him and didn't finish him" Zayn finishes nervously.  
"Yeah and apparently you're shit in bed too" Harry says glaring at zayn but talking about me.

"Am I?" I ask weakly.  
"According to zayn you didn't get hard. Your handjob was loose, slow with no rythem what so ever. But in terms of bottoming. You were useless, just laid ther. You're body wasn't responsive and you just closed your eyes the whole time"

"Niall i-" Zayn starts.  
"M sorry i- I was bad- I tried" I mumble. I feel more tears fall and push my way outside. I hide in the neighbours garden, in a large bush type plant. I hear both harry and zayn shouting me but don't respond.

 

After 10 minutes I make my way out of the bush, pull out my phone and call louis.

____

"Why didn't you tell him before now niall?" Louis asks as we're sat on the sofa watching Take Me Out.

"I was scared I'd loose him" I repeat for the billionth time.  
"I meant when you were friends."  
"I- when we first met i- I- didn't know. I just thought I was like a late bloomer or somat. Like- the sex faze would hit me eventually. And then it jus didn't. I met zayn when I was 16. Didn't- didn't enjoy him touching me. Gave him a hand job and threw up for 4 hours after." I laugh dryly.

"Guess then I realised- I didn't- like it? Yah know? Thought I was doin it wrong. I mentioned me not really liking i- yuh know- told him. He shrugged it off saying I might enjoy the actual sex, not the three play?"

"Fore play" Louis corrects me.  
"He suggested we go further to see. I did. I consented and kinda wanted it. But didn't like it. He opened me and got inside and- he was only in and thrusted for a minute before I pushed him off."

"Why didn't you tell harry- as friends?"

"Like is said- I didn't know I was asexual- thought I just- a slower developer. After that I realised I don't like anything to do with sex and that worked. I wanted to tell harry, but then he kept on about Taylor and how she well she could deep throat. He said that it's impossible for anyone to not like sex. Said it was far too good to waste."

"I'm sure if he'd know he wouldn't have said that"

"He then said anyone who doesn't like it is a freak. I kept quiet. Shortly after I met you and- you just- made me feel safe- like I could tell you anything and you'd have my back. Like if I though the earth was square- you'd argue with the queen until it became official."

"I have your back. You should have told him when you first started dating though. He's a good guy it's not fair on him"

"Really? After the blowjob I tried to give him- he told zayn and they had a good laugh at me and had sex. Both of them compared notes in advanxe on how bad i am at sex. They told me what each other said. That was because i woke up and asked why zayn was there" I mumble. More tears falling.

I leave louis sat there and got up to my room, lock my door and collapse on my bed in a crying pile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Been veryactive on here today, high 5 to me :D

Niall pov

It's the next day when I leave my room. Louis didn't bother to come and try talking to me after I walked off, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

He's making a sandwich when I come down. I've looked in he mirror. I know I look a state. My hair is all over the place and my eyes have more bags under them than Tesco but im hungry so my appearance can wait.

"You look rough"  
"Gee thanks" I grunt.  
"I have invited harry, zayn and liam round-"

"-Why the hell have you done that!" I snap.  
"So we can all talk. Get everything out in the open-"

"-I've said eveything I need to and heard more than enough from those so called friends of mine" I snap as I abandon my food expadition and go back to my room.

"Well maybe they have more to say. This isn't all about you. So grow up, put some clothes on they'll be here in 15 minutes" he snaps back.

I slam my door to make a point. I'm not sure what point at this moment in time, but I'll think of one.

I hear the front door go and glare angrily at my door, daring them to come and see me. But praying they don't.

"Niall? Come on this involves you" Louis says as he hammers on my door.

I open it and he gives me a soft smile after taking in the fact I haven't showered or changed or eaten yet and I look a mess.

"It will be okay"  
"No It won't" I grunt as he pulls me down stairs.

"You look a mess" Harry notes.  
"Can't all be super models like pretty boy over there" I glare at zayn who looks as perfect as ever. Maybe that's why harry and he got together. It wasn't to do with the sex. Zayn was just prettier to look at than me. He isn't a mess and doesn't have yesterday's clothes on, including boxers.

I suddenly become very self concious that everyone else has made an effort to look nice and I look like a homeless person.

I sit on the floor close to the end of the sofa liam is sat on. Liam and louis on one, zayn and harry on the other and me on the floor. It's where I belong anyway.

"So. We're all here today to fix this. We're supposed to be friends and I'd like to keep it that way. So we're all going to take turns to ask one person a question each. They must answer honestly and we'll move on to he next person." Louis instructs us.

"So I'll kick this off, you all ask me one question each I answer honestly and we move around in a circle"

"Why do you and niall live together? Niall never told me" Harry says glaring at me.

"When you two started dating his parents said he chooses either you or them, they don't approve of you. Knew you'd hurt him and assumed he'd choose hem. He chose you" Louis says , glancing at me, I look away from him.

"Okay, why am I here?" Liam asks.  
"Because we're all friends and I thought you'd want to be kept in the loop. Feel free to fuck off if you have better things to do" Louis snaps.

"Why did you tell harry I was asexual when It wasn't your place to?" I mutter ,looking at him with glossy eyes. Do not cry.

"I was tired of all the arguing. It hurt me to see you upset from what he did, but harrys my friend too and he deserved to know"

"It wasn't your secret to tell" I mumble

 

"Who's side are you on. Team harry or team niall?" Zayn smirks  
"I'm not answering that-"  
"-You said we all had to answer every question honestly. Answer" Harry smiles.

"I see both sides. Niall was scared he'd loose you so he lied and harry got annoyed he lied. If you'd told the truth we wouldn't be here now" Louis says looking at me. He doesn't finish by specifically saying team harry, he doesn't have to.

"My turn. This is fun" Harry grins

"Who gave the better blowjob niall or me?" Zayn sneers, looking at me.  
"You hundred percent. His was what I imagine a 5 year olds would be like" they both burst out laughing and I feel a few tears fall.

"Why are you so nasty to him?" Liam asks, I feel his hand rub my shoulder.

"He's a liar. Don't like liars. Louis right. If you'd told the truth none of this would have happened."

I bite my lip to keep from shouting at him.

"Would you have accepted niall if he'd told the truth?" Louis asks, looking pointedly at me as if to say, this is what would have happened.

"Honestly, it would have taken time to adjust. And not make comments or do things in front of him that he isn't comfortable with. But yes. I would have accepted this as who he is"

"Would you- you have still- er- d- dated me?" I stutter.  
"No. I wouldn't. Sex is important to me and I wouldn't have gotten involved with you as more than friends if I'd known" he sighs.

"Zayns turn" Louis mutters.

"Who was better to sleep with me or niall?" Harry laughs.  
"You. No question about. I'm sorry niall- well- not really- but all you did was lay there" he hollers. Doubled over in hysterics. Because apparently my lack of knowledge on how to have sex is hilarious.

"Why did you not say anything about dating niall when you found out harry was dating niall?" Louis asks.

"Didn't want it to be awkward. I mean sure I fucked him- well thrusted for like 10 seconds before he pushed me away- but other than a few appalling handjob nothing happened. Niall didn't know me and harry knew each other. I hadn't seen niall since we broke up so I didn't mention it to harry."

"How can you sleep at night knowing you've told everyone about his sexual experience?" Liam gasps.

"Quite easy. There isn't any experience to brag about, just the lack of"

"What changed? Me and you left on good terms, as friends. What changed for you to be so nasty and tell everyone that's stuff about me."

Well- dunno. I was bored of being on my own. Harry and I started hooking up and messing about. I was annoyed at you for not telling harry, he complained about you not giving it out- so I knew you hadn't told him. I got mad and started about how shit you were on bed. I dint mention you were asexual though"

"You and zayn were fooling around while we were together?" I ask harry. "And you knew about me and zayn dating and him taking my virginity- so in the kitchen- when I was pouring my heart out to you- you were just laughing at me behind my back again?" I whimper. This is all too much. I wish I'd never met either of them.

Harry just bites his bottom lip not looking at me.  
"Liams turn" Zayn grins.

"Why didn't you tell niall about me and zayn spending the night, you made him a coffee- you knew?" Harry asks.

I flinch away from liams hand and he frowns as I look up at him.  
"It- it wasn't my place. If I'd told you then you would have left and not spoken to harry. I hoped you could sort things. I'm really sorry niall." He says sincerely.

"Did you know zayn and harry were fooling around?" Louis asks.  
"No. I only knew about that one night. After we all got pissed and I woke up wrapped in a duvet in the bath."

I giggle at that.

"Did you know me and niall dated before harry and niall?" Zayn asks.

"No- I wasn't in the friend group then"

"Harrys slept with everyone else- have you slept with him?"I ask liam, dreading the answer.

"No. I've slept with louis but not harry or zayn" my eyes bulge and I snap my head to look at louis, he blushes but doesn't deny it.

"Niallers turn" Zayn sings.

"Are you lying about being asexual because you're shit in bed?" Harry starts off.

"N-No. I genuinely don't like sex- or- or anything to do with it. Like the three play"  
"Fore play" louis corrects me again.

"Why did you choose harry over your parents?" Zayn asks.  
"Because I love him- I loved him more than them" I mumble as a couple of tears leak from my eyes.

"Why didn't you tell us all from the start?" Louis sighs.

"I was scared. I told zayn and he left me after it was confirmed. I told you lou, and when I went to see harry to tell him he was on about Taylor sucking him off and said people who don't like sex are freaks. I hardly see liam so didn't see the point in telling him. Only see him like once a month. If that"

 

"Where do we go from here then?" Liam asks. I know the question wasn't just directed at me, it was aimed at all of us.

"I don't know" I say honestly.


	7. Chapter 7

5 years later - niall pov

"I've sent the lads a text. Jus to explain what's happenin and er- to tell them why I've not invited them. Jus said I'd like to meet up if we can to clear things but not on our day" I mumble as I chop the carrots to go in the stew.

"Okay. you know I don't mind them. They're- they are -okay were- your friends."

"I know Mal. I just want our day to be perfect. It's about us and our future - no one else. 'Cept Rory." I grin as he pecks my head.

"And long as you don't stand me up at the alter it will be perfect. Me and my two boys. That's all i need" he grins at me before stirring the stew.

"Right I'm gona get a shower, can you finish this?" I ask fluttering my eye lashes even though I know he'll say yes.

"Course. Go pamper yourself and prepare for your last night of freedom" he kisses my lips and I blush, leaving as Rory comes in.

 

I'm in the bedroom pottering and can hear eveything

"Dad?"  
"Yeah Rory?"  
"How come you and Dad niall don't have sex or like, do anything sexual. I mean you never even call each other sexy. It's always 'gorgeous' or 'stunning'.

"Niall is what's known as asexual. It means he doesn't like sex or anything to do with it. He's uncomfortable with the idea of things being sexy or sex related. I do it so he's comfortable"

"So have you two never had sex? You've been together 4 years!"

"Nope. We've cuddled and kissed and hold hands. We make out but that's it. That's what your dad's comfortable with and I respect that." My heart swells at that.

"But- don't you miss sex? You still like it" our 15 year old adopted son asks.

"I used to miss it. When we first got together I used to miss it, the intimacy and the connection you have whilst doing things. But it's irrelevant because I get that with niall regardless. I missed it and would look and niall and think 'he's what I need'. He's all I needed. The sex would have been a bonus. But it's not a deal breaker. I can live with out sex, I can't live without niall. I knew when I got with him and he told me- it was a case of - niall or sex- I knew I couldn't have both."

"You chose niall?"  
"I did. Because he's more important to me."

"I tried to ask dad niall about sex, erm asked for some tips to you know - and he got really upset- I didn't mean to upset him" I hear the genuine sadness in his voice.

"I know, and niall knows too. He's just a bit sensitive about sex and things related to it, just come to me about stuff like that in the future, yeah?"

"Okay"  
"Good. You exited for tomorrow?"  
"Yeah. My dad's are finally getting hitched"

Malcolm laughs at that.

"You love him right?"  
"Course I do. I'm marrying him aren't i? "  
"Yeah. Are his old friends coming to the wedding?"

"No" I answer as I stand in the door way. "I've told them, but requested they don't come as tomorrow is our day. They aren't ruining it."

"I'm sorry I upset you talking about- sugar - elephant - x man"  
"You can say the word sex, Rory. I just don't like doing it and imagining it"

"You're so brave"  
"How'd you figure that?"I half laugh.  
"Even though your old friends laughed at you and made you cry loads, you're still going. And living and getting married" he smiles

"They took a lot from me Rory. I gave them everything and they used it against me. I wasn't completely innocent though. I should have- told them from the start. I was young and scared. I knew they'd judge me. So I lied. I lied and it all came out eventually. we argued and after they laughed at your old man for not being very good at sex- I left. I realised they aren't the kind of friends I needed at the time. I lost everyone and- and everything. But I found myself. And I kept myself. I knew who I was, what i wanted and what i needed so I told myself I wouldn't give in this time. I wouldn't be someone I'm not to please someone else. And I wouldn't do something I'm not okay with to make someone else happy.

That's why when I met your dad I knew I had to be honest from the start- throw it all out there and let him decide if I was worth taking a chance on. Luckily he did. I wouldn't change it though, because of that I got you two- my boys- and I'm over the moon." I finish my speech and Malcolm makes his way towards me. He holds my hips and kisses me softly.

___

The wedding runs like a smooth ship. All my family and Malcolms are here and we've got through the vows with out me crying too much.

 

"I'd like to make a toast" Rory says standing up with a champagne glass. "I'd like to wish the happy couple the most amazing life together. As many of you know, they're not intimate, but I think that makes them stronger. They've proved- against all odds that sex isn't all its cracked up to be. It may be great- but it's not as important as the person you're in the relationship with. I'm so proud to call you my dads- you really are my role models. If I grow up to be half the man of either of you- ill be the happiest- most loyal- and kind hearted man going. To the Groom and Groom"

"Thank you rory" I mumble as he wraps his arms around my shoulders and mine around his waist.

"May I have this dance?" Malcolm asks as he holds his hand out to me, my heart flutters as I lock my fingers in with his.

Our first dance is to Ben Haynow - something I need. It may not be the most usual first dance song but it speaks to us on a personal level and means more than some soppy song that just says 'I love you'.

As we're spinning lightly round the room, my hand on his shoulder, the other locked in his as his hand settles on my waist, I smile. I think to myself this is the moment I've been waiting for. The moment that tells me all he heart ache and pain was for something. It wasn't for nothing. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my we as we float around the room.

 

Three songs later rory taps my shoulder and signals to the door. I glance over and see louis, liam, harry and zayn.

"I tried to get them to leave they wouldn't listen" he frowns.  
"It's okay Rory" I grin and smooth his hair out. Malcolm locks his fingers in mine and we make our way over.

"Congratulations, both of you. I don't think we've met- I'm liam" liam introduces shaking Malcolms hand, he smiles and says a polite hello.

"You didn't invite us" Harry frowns.  
"Last I checked we weren't friends and this is my day. My special day. The one day I get to be selfish and no one can say no to me" I half whine.

"Harry and I are engaged. Weddings next year" Zayn smiles at me, showing off the wedding band.

"Congratulations. Don't cheat on each other too quick" I grunt.

"Louis and I are together as well. Not engaged or married but going good" liam beems.  
"That's great liam" I say genuinely.

"you're welcome to stay for a drink but, Niall babe we should do rounds" God bless my husband.

"Yeah we should. You had no right coming here. This is mine and my family's day. The first day of the rest of our lives. I'd like you to leave." I say as politely as I can.

"You know he's asexual yeah- you won't get sex out of him- any form at all and he's shit at it anyway" Zayn laughs.

"I'm aware of my husbands needs thank you very much. I know he doesn't like sexual intercourse or the idea behind it and I respect that. Because he is more important to me than sex. And I will gladly be with out it for the rest of my life if I get to keep niall. Now he asked you to leave"

 

Rory comes to get me after that so I don't hear what he's saying to them as he shoves them out of the door. I don't need to though. I know he's got my back.

I didn't just find myself when I left mine and louis flat half way though an argument 5 years ago. I found my new family. My new friends. My husband and soul mate. My son. My new home. My new life.

 

"Mr Niall Jordan- may I have this dance?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo how was this???
> 
> Prompts are open :D send ideas in!!


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